Chinese New Year

Chinese New Year
It is an important festival for chinese
It is a chance for visit those so-called relative

For me, the things I most excited to do before CNY are to buy new shirts and mahjong

However, I didn't sense any excited for this year as I lost my S2 at KL when shops for new shirts

and didn't play any mahjong till now T.T
And the most sad things is... during the stupid exam period, I became fat

And right now, I am already 65KG
It is consider highest record I ever have

Seriously, I swear I will go to swim everyday start from tomorrow
In order to keep fit, I also have to train stamina for my coming life safeguard test

Phobia

This matter I start worried from long long time ago but not now

I am going to turn 21 in 6 months times

I am no longer a child that need to supervise by parents

By law, I can did a lot of things that initially disallow as under age

In other words, it means that I have more freedom

But then I start feel to worry on the matter that surround me

Can I ensure my family can live more nicer?
Can I ensure not to let them worried about me?
I am the only son and only child in my family

I believe they have high expectations on me but can I hit it?
Nobody knows.

I'm going to be 21

It is the age that disallow me to be capricious

I have to take extra care on surrounding before I took any actions

Besides that, I have to take extra care on myself(To prevent something touchwood happen)

Attitude

Does he worth for me to endure him?
I think no as he has been so annoying in my eyes
and somehow I so wish he is not around in my sight

Ok, here is the problem
Others can endure him but not me
Now is my own problem or his?

Is me make everything too serious or I 玩不起

There is someone said I am the one that cannot play steadily
Am I?
I think I need answer from other peoples

In my view, instead of cannot play steadily

I would say most of the time I see something too serious

No ideas, when I cannot endure someone

no matter what he does I will find weakness to attack him

Someone in my university is the best proof

However, he is leaving in my sight for another half year
Just ignore him =D

Words to describe myself

I found some words to describe myself

温室里的花朵，草莓族，妈宝 are so suitable to describe me

I think everyone will agree with me
Initially I want to post this 3 phrase on my Facebook
After some consideration, I think it is better for me to put at here.
If not people gonna say I am emo king

Recently, I had been very active at the midnight this 2 weeks
Once I think I back to UUM, how I gonna adapt this
Everytime i think about this, I so wish I can quit the school
Somehow, this is the road that I wish not to choose
It is far from what I expected

However, I know not everything will happen as what you expect

But the difference between what I expect is quite huge

I'm not such socialable, but I am outgoing

May I know how I able to past 3 more years of jungle life
Somehow, in my parent perspective, it is more better i stay at UUM

As I might deeply influence by outsider if I were at KL or Penang
I admit. I might immerse to outing and ignore studies and overspent

But then, go to UUM really is just like a jail for me
All the senior i really admire you all that can stand at this environment for more than a year.

So I only describe myself as 温室里的花朵

Characteristic

Everyone got his own characteristic.
Is this the true fact? Nobody knows.
Start from yesterday, I felt lost suddenly. I can't find my identity.

I wish to go out from the maze that I walked inside.
Somehow, I felt that I masked myself for a long time until I lost myself.

I have been arrogant for sometime last few year and being boycotted by someone?
After that, I polished myself to be more humble
Yes! it is ok to be more humble to everyone.
But then I think on the way I transformed, I masked myself to be a faker me.
And now, I dunno which one of myself is real.
In order to meet the taste of others, I felt that I changed myself until neither fish nor fowl.
Now, I just wish I can find back myself earlier.