Failed

Yes, today my mood just like the weather.
So moody A.K.A emo
I told myself before, dont care what others say
However, I failed to do so...
But then I just pretend nothing happen and keep recall my happy memories
But good news are, i feel im getting lesser emo compare to previous edi
Recently, all the assignment and tutorials are just like a bullet train.
Come very fast and keep chasing me.
Somemore my sleeping quality is seriously low
I cant feel energetic after wake up.
Gambateh Mr Lim

MyLDS

Yes, I am too free now
Thus, I want to do recap for MyLDS
MyLDS is a big turning point for me

There are 5 points that I would think that is a turning point for me

1) Faci - Evelyn Chan

I would think she is the main key factors. I would like to thanks to her as she really clear my doubt about myself. I won't forget what she told me. She did help me to found myself. It's sound ridiculous right? Other people to help me to find myself. But SHE DID. She was so patient to heard whatever I said and helped me to analysis 1 by 1. Really thanks to her.

2) AIESECers around the world

You all are so awesome. You all did make me feel ashamed and guilty about myself as some of you all are really strong and capable. You all did a good job. I would like to thanks to all of them as you all indirectly be a mirror for me to reflected myself. Thus I only know how sucks I am. But don't worries, I will try to catch up you all to polish myself.

3) My Team - Healthy Rangers

You all did a great and awesome job. You all are so supportive all the way. All of you are so superior for me. I did learn a lot from you all especially big rock session on how you all did the awesome job in such limited times. I enjoyed a lot during that session but in the meanwhile I felt guilty too as I did not help much on that. I do miss you all once I left the plenary hall.

4) The programme
Thanks to FACI as the programme that you all created are so awesome and useful to me especially skill training and connection time. I found myself on this 2 session that I lost for a long long time ago. Through this session, at least I know who I am and my strengths. After that, I wont labelled myself as no strengths as I do really have my strengths.

5) My Buddies

I would like to thanks to Linda, Monique and Angela. They act as my dustbin as they are the people that who always receive my negative aura first. But now, I can proudly to say that, I WILL minimize it to MINIMUM thus you all no need to receive my negative aura. I would like to thanks to three of you as keep listen what I said, encourage me, comfort me and try to did anything for me. I do love 3 of you all.

To be happy

From now onwards,
I promise I TRY not to be pessimistic due to stupid things
Takes all bad things as an opportunity to improve myself
And now I try to be a better man!!!

1st time

Although now is only head of February
But, it already gave me a lot of first time
My first final at UUM
My first semester break
My first dye hair
My first temple fair at heritage zone
My first Cap Goh Mei at esplanade and TIM KAM with some wishes
My first clubbing at Slippery Senoritas A.K.A SS
My first cocktail at Library
My first visit to UKM for MyLDS
My first photo shooting (Thanks to Rocky although I'm Sucks)
March
My first global village
My first camp at UUM which held at Perlis
My first VoC (Failed, did very badly)
April
My first performance at the big stage (Be a laughter indeed)
May
My first dance performance ever in Kachi Fest
My first MT interview (I failed again)
July
My first OC experience for NatCon
September
My first trip to langkawi with a group of friends that not really know at the moment
My first trip to Hatyai after 2 semester in UUM
October
November
My first "Tiger" show at Hatyai
My frist clubbing experience at Hatyai
December
My first Bronze Medalian test and I passed it.
My first countdown at Dannok

and now i wish i can found
My first love, kiss, hug and etc.
My first dslr
My first abs in very soon

University Life

Recently my friends share all of their university life,

I very envy them as this is the life I want at university

They have different school/faculty, got their own course night

While we consider just have COB,CAS and COLGIS

These not consider as faculty at all

Our school consider as business school rather than university

Their schools have lecture tutorial, while ours are rojak together
Seriously, there is a difference between what I imagine compare to the reality.

Last shouldn't go for UUM but maybe other university

However, there is no time for me to regret

Chinese New Year

Chinese New Year
It is an important festival for chinese
It is a chance for visit those so-called relative

For me, the things I most excited to do before CNY are to buy new shirts and mahjong

However, I didn't sense any excited for this year as I lost my S2 at KL when shops for new shirts

and didn't play any mahjong till now T.T
And the most sad things is... during the stupid exam period, I became fat

And right now, I am already 65KG
It is consider highest record I ever have

Seriously, I swear I will go to swim everyday start from tomorrow
In order to keep fit, I also have to train stamina for my coming life safeguard test

Phobia

This matter I start worried from long long time ago but not now

I am going to turn 21 in 6 months times

I am no longer a child that need to supervise by parents

By law, I can did a lot of things that initially disallow as under age

In other words, it means that I have more freedom

But then I start feel to worry on the matter that surround me

Can I ensure my family can live more nicer?
Can I ensure not to let them worried about me?
I am the only son and only child in my family

I believe they have high expectations on me but can I hit it?
Nobody knows.

I'm going to be 21

It is the age that disallow me to be capricious

I have to take extra care on surrounding before I took any actions

Besides that, I have to take extra care on myself(To prevent something touchwood happen)

Attitude

Does he worth for me to endure him?
I think no as he has been so annoying in my eyes
and somehow I so wish he is not around in my sight

Ok, here is the problem
Others can endure him but not me
Now is my own problem or his?

Is me make everything too serious or I 玩不起

There is someone said I am the one that cannot play steadily
Am I?
I think I need answer from other peoples

In my view, instead of cannot play steadily

I would say most of the time I see something too serious

No ideas, when I cannot endure someone

no matter what he does I will find weakness to attack him

Someone in my university is the best proof

However, he is leaving in my sight for another half year
Just ignore him =D

Words to describe myself

I found some words to describe myself

温室里的花朵，草莓族，妈宝 are so suitable to describe me

I think everyone will agree with me
Initially I want to post this 3 phrase on my Facebook
After some consideration, I think it is better for me to put at here.
If not people gonna say I am emo king

Recently, I had been very active at the midnight this 2 weeks
Once I think I back to UUM, how I gonna adapt this
Everytime i think about this, I so wish I can quit the school
Somehow, this is the road that I wish not to choose
It is far from what I expected

However, I know not everything will happen as what you expect

But the difference between what I expect is quite huge

I'm not such socialable, but I am outgoing

May I know how I able to past 3 more years of jungle life
Somehow, in my parent perspective, it is more better i stay at UUM

As I might deeply influence by outsider if I were at KL or Penang
I admit. I might immerse to outing and ignore studies and overspent

But then, go to UUM really is just like a jail for me
All the senior i really admire you all that can stand at this environment for more than a year.

So I only describe myself as 温室里的花朵

Characteristic

Everyone got his own characteristic.
Is this the true fact? Nobody knows.
Start from yesterday, I felt lost suddenly. I can't find my identity.

I wish to go out from the maze that I walked inside.
Somehow, I felt that I masked myself for a long time until I lost myself.

I have been arrogant for sometime last few year and being boycotted by someone?
After that, I polished myself to be more humble
Yes! it is ok to be more humble to everyone.
But then I think on the way I transformed, I masked myself to be a faker me.
And now, I dunno which one of myself is real.
In order to meet the taste of others, I felt that I changed myself until neither fish nor fowl.
Now, I just wish I can find back myself earlier.